Being a loner is what I do best.

Not sure if all my friends hate me or I'm being emo shit. Seriously. When I talk about my problems, all I want is for them to just listen. I don't need advice. I don't need to hear the sympathy. I just need them to listen. Just that. But they don't even have the will to even 'listen' to me - let alone giving me advice or their sympathies, if they ever had one. I'm sick and tired being the only one trying to make everyone feel wanted and needed. When they talk, I listen. I kinda have the guilt feeling when I do otherwise. That's just me. Why can't I be happy at once? That's kinda stupid question I'm asking. It hurts me to see that they care more about their "online friends". That's not jealousy. That is totally not. But the fact that they know I'm having a hard time right now and they don't even ask or worry about me like they do to their "friends". I'm a human, well is that not obvious? I do have feelings, just like everyone else. I doubt you even care when you ask me "How's him" and when I finally opened my mouth, there you go- you shut me up - you stopped me. When I tried to talk, oh no your "Tumblr friends" replied you! That is so important. You don't even look at me. So, with regrets, I stopped talking. There's no words spoken. I was hurt and you? Busy replying them. I will always be people's second choice no matter who I'm with. Luckily I have my family. Who loves me so dearly. Life is hard. It's even harder when you put so much hopes in your friends but they proved you otherwise. I hope you see this. I really do hope. I'd kill to let you know this, but I'm not ready to face the consequences. I hate it. Hate being treated like this. For the past weeks, I've learned to love my life. As hard as it is I tried- and I'm working on it. The results have been really positive. But those things about friends are just so hard for me to deal with . I just can't. Friends are important, but as long as you have your family with you, you are forever blessed with their presence. Well, whatever. I'm forever a loner. It was never meant to be. I just can't.